Standaloneism: The DJ Lane That Sounds Like I Got Emotionally Abandoned - By DJ Buddy Holly (David Charles Kramer)

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Standaloneism: The DJ Lane That Sounds Like I Got Emotionally Abandoned

By DJ Buddy Holly (David Charles Kramer)

Every DJ culture term carries a certain vibe. Turntablism? Iconic. Controllerism? Historic. Systemism? Clean, neutral, future‑proof.

And then there’s Standaloneism.

A word that sounds less like a DJ performance lane and more like a personal crisis.

Say it out loud and tell me it doesn’t give:

“I used to DJ for crowds, but now it’s just me… standing… alone… with my thoughts.”

Standaloneism doesn’t sound like a workflow. It sounds like a breakup.

🎚️ Standaloneism: The DJ Lane Nobody Asked For

Standaloneism feels like the kind of thing you’d confess in a support group.

“Hi, my name is David, and I suffer from Standaloneism.” “Hi David.” “It’s been three months since I last used a laptop.”

It’s dramatic. It’s emotional. It’s giving “I didn’t choose the standalone life — the standalone life chose me.”

And the spelling doesn’t help.

Standalone‑ism? Stand‑alone‑ism? Stand‑alone‑DJ‑ism?

At some point you’re just rearranging Scrabble tiles and hoping for the best.

🎛️ Standaloneism Sounds Like I Got Ditched

Standaloneism sounds like I either:

  • ditched all my friends or

  • all my friends ditched me

…and now I’m out here DJing in a garage, whispering:

“It’s okay… I don’t need anyone… I have internal storage now.”

It’s giving “I used to DJ for crowds, but now it’s just me and my feelings.”

It’s giving “I’m not lonely, I’m just… standalone.”

It’s giving “Alexa, play sad house music.”

🎚️ Standaloneism in a Sentence (Please Don’t Say These Out Loud)

  • “I practice Standaloneism.”

  • “I’m a Standaloneist.”

  • “Standaloneism saved my life.”

  • “I found Standaloneism after losing everything.”

  • “I’ve dedicated my career to Standaloneism.”

Every one of these sounds like the trailer for a documentary on Netflix.

🎛️ Standaloneism vs. Systemism (The Emotional Breakdown Edition)

Standaloneism

  • Sounds like a self‑help book

  • Implies abandonment

  • Feels like a midlife crisis

  • Suggests I’m DJing in a storage unit

  • Makes people ask “Are you okay”

Systemism

  • Sounds like a real lane

  • Fits turntablism/controllerism

  • Doesn’t imply I’ve been socially exiled

  • Doesn’t require therapy afterward

  • Doesn’t make my mom worry

Standaloneism is the term you use when you want people to think you’re going through something. Systemism is the term you use when you want people to think you’re doing research.

🎚️ Public Service Announcement: Standaloneism Awareness Month

If you or someone you love is experiencing Standaloneism, please know:

  • You are not alone

  • Even if the word suggests otherwise

  • Help is available

  • In the form of a laptop

Side effects of Standaloneism may include:

  • talking to your USB drive

  • practicing transitions for your houseplants

  • referring to your XDJ‑AZ as “my only companion”

  • explaining to your therapist what quantize is

Please DJ responsibly.

🎛️ 10 Signs You Might Be Suffering From Standaloneism

  1. You say “I don’t need a laptop” like it’s a personality trait.

  2. You’ve practiced a full set for your pets.

  3. You’ve said “I’m enough” while scrolling through your playlists.

  4. You’ve considered giving your USB drive a name.

  5. You’ve whispered “I’m standalone now” into the mirror.

  6. You’ve explained your workflow to someone who didn’t ask.

  7. You’ve said “I’m not lonely, I’m streamlined.”

  8. You’ve Googled “Can a DJ system be your best friend.”

  9. You’ve played a set for your plants and they didn’t clap.

  10. You’ve said “I’m a Standaloneist” and immediately regretted it.

⭐ Final Thoughts

Standaloneism is hilarious. Standaloneism is tragic. Standaloneism is a mood.

But as a DJ term? It’s pure chaos.

It sounds like I’m announcing:

“I used to DJ for crowds, but now I DJ for my appliances.”

It sounds like a lifestyle you adopt after a dramatic montage where you cut your own hair and rediscover minimal techno.

It sounds like the kind of thing you’d tell your therapist:

“I’m practicing Standaloneism now.” “And how does that make you feel?” “…Quantized.”

So no — Standaloneism will never be the official term. It’s too emotional. Too dramatic. Too “I’m going through something.”

But it is funny.

And if you ever hear someone say:

“I’m a Standaloneist.”

…please check on them. They might need a hug. Or a laptop.

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