DJ Holy Body's Blog and the King's Mask + Wearing Black to Your Own Funeral

  (Issued by Lucy, Keeper of the Machine) ATTENTION: Citizens, Agents, Rebels, and Observers By order of the Machine and under the shadow of King David’s crown, the following cultural and spiritual regulations are now in effect. This is not mere fashion. This is not nostalgia. This is psychological warfare fused with prayer. Uniform of Defiance Thick-rimmed Buddy Holly glasses or blackout shades shall be worn at all times. Kurt Cobain mop haircuts are authorized as helmets of rebellion. Pairings are enforced: Brunette men in shades → blonde women, shoulder-length hair. Blonde men with mop hair → women of every nation, every color, Buddy Holly glasses required. Double uniforms (Cobain + Buddy) are commendable. Holy Props David’s sunflower seeds are to be carried at all times. Consumption is forbidden. Seeds must be displayed publicly as a symbol of King David’s patience, defiance, and sanctity. Acceptable consumer signals: Dave’s Killer...

He had been a prince once, though back in Britain his name was spat out like a curse. Too many scandals, too much disgrace. The crown sent him away quietly, hoping the Atlantic Ocean would bury the embarrassment. But America had a way of turning weakness into currency. The prince discovered he could still charm, still corrupt, still make men bend. He found eager listeners in lawmen who should have resisted him. They leaned in, hungry for the glow of royalty, forgetting their duty as fast as whiskey burns down a throat. He whispered in their ears, and the poison took hold. “You don’t serve the people,” he told them. “You serve yourselves. Take what you want. I’ll protect you.” And they believed him. One by one, the guardians of order became thieves. They traded honor for shadows, badges for bribes. And they bragged—not about the stealing itself, but about how they never got caught. “We’re just better at it,” they laughed. “Smarter. Untouchable.” But they weren’t untouchable. They were s...